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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23321731">Later</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DwarvenBeardSpores/pseuds/DwarvenBeardSpores'>DwarvenBeardSpores</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftermath, Crying, Episode 150: Bedrock Misery, Friendship, Gen, Guilt, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Magic, Panic Attacks, Spoilers up to:</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 16:01:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,215</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23321731</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DwarvenBeardSpores/pseuds/DwarvenBeardSpores</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Azu panics. Hamid is there.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hamid Saleh Haroun al-Tahan &amp; Azu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Later</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Y’all, Azu is gonna have so much panic stored up by the time they get out and I’m upset about it. I just want her to be cared for... </p><p>There’s a lot of crying in this one, just, so much, but they’ll be okay. </p><p>Take care of yourselves and each other, folks &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“It’s not raining,” Zolf says. He sounds awed, but all Hamid can do is bite down a shrill “<em>oh isn’t it?”</em> because he doesn’t <em>care.</em> They’ve emerged from the tunnel back from Shoin’s laboratory, and Hamid is <em>tired </em>and <em>hungry</em> and he <em>h</em><em>urts </em>and there is nothing of him left to care about the rain. </p><p>“Oh shit!” Cel says, momentarily distracted from their single-minded determination to get back to their village. “We fixed the fucking rain! You know, I wasn’t sure if it’d work—we really were just unplugging things at a best guess, y’know, if you asked me now <em>what </em>we unplugged I couldn’t even tell you—but it <em>did</em> work<em>, </em>and do you know how long it’s been since I’ve seen the moon?”  </p><p>Hamid bites his tongue and tells himself to be generous, tells himself not to hate their excitement. It won’t do anyone any good if he snaps, and Cel and Zolf have been in Japan a lot longer than he has. It probably is very exciting to them. If he tries, Hamid can almost believe that this situation might be slightly worse if he was also being soaked through... but it is hard to imagine. Everything is so bad. It’s dark and muddy, even without any rain, and he wants to fall over and sleep for years. His head aches and he’s been just this side of tears for <em>hours. </em> </p><p>They had rested, yes, in the relative safety of the tunnels, but since then… they had interrogated a man, and seen such terrible things that Hamid can’t even <em> process </em> them, and they’d ambushed an ambush and everybody had... everybody had been particularly out for blood. He had never seen Azu so angry. He’d never <em> been </em>so angry, but now he’s just so tired. </p><p>“How far is it to the village?” he tries to ask, but maybe his words don’t come out right, or maybe Cel and Zolf are just having their <em> moment </em> about the <em> rain </em>because no one answers. </p><p>And then he hears the clatter of collapsing armor behind him. </p><p>Acid Splash is on his fingertips before he’s fully turned, and he is going to <em> scream </em> <em> — </em> </p><p>Azu has fallen to the ground. She’s on her knees, glowing pink in the night and staring at the dark sky. She looks... she’s not doing well. As Hamid watches she takes one long shuddering breath, then another, and then she falls apart. </p><p>“Azu?” Hamid yells. “Azu!” and he is running to her with speed he didn’t know he had left. </p><p>She is gasping when he gets there, sobbing with her whole body. Her hands grip tightly to her knees and she is still staring at the sky.  </p><p>“Azu, we’re out,” he says. “We-we we’re safe, Azu. You’re <em> safe. </em> " He hasn’t actually checked the area to prove that, but he doesn’t <em> care. </em>Cel and Zolf can take care of it. He needs to take care of Azu.  </p><p>"Azu,” Zolf says in a warning tone. “Keep it together. It’ll be alright, we’re almost back.” </p><p>"Not <em> now, </em>Zolf,” Hamid snaps. It's not going to do any good. Azu is good at keeping her feelings under control, she’s amazing at it, but Hamid knows what panic like this is like. The only thing she can do now is ride it out. Zolf backs away and Hamid’s focus tunnels back in to Azu. </p><p>He’s babbling, he thinks. Telling her that she’s safe and she’s loved and he’s <em> here. </em> </p><p>"Hamid,” Azu says, and he turns to her. She doesn’t have the breath for more. She leans instinctively into him and Hamid still wants to scream but he holds her. </p><p>On her knees, Azu is not <em>much</em> taller than Hamid is, but she’s broad and strong and Hamid is not big enough to really hold her the way she holds him. He tries, tries to get an arm around her shoulder, scrabbles on her armor, and eventually settles for holding her head to his chest. From there he can rub the exposed skin on the back of her skull and her neck, can press his face to the top of her head.  </p><p>He’s not as good at this as Azu is. He hasn’t put away his own emotions and doesn’t really know how, and he can hear the hysteria rising in his throat. And he’s crying too, he realizes. Tears fall on her close-shaven hair. He’d been just barely managing not to break, and this is too much. But he gulps in air, and he sniffs, and he decides that crying or no, he is going to care for Azu now. </p><p>So he continues to hold her, continues to pull words out of nowhere that he hopes might be comforting. He holds her until her hands unclench from her knees and she wraps one around Hamid’s back to pull him closer. </p><p>“Hamid.” It’s Zolf, who’s suddenly there next to him, a hand on Hamid’s shoulder, blurry through the tears. “Have you got this?” he asks.  </p><p>“I-- <em> what? </em>” </p><p>“Cel needs to get back,” Zolf says.  </p><p>Hamid glances dazedly over to where Cel has started walking backwards away from the rest, midway through a frantic explanation of “--but I really need to check on Jasper you guys so? Thumbs up? Look I can do hugs but I’m really not gonna be much use if I don’t know how things are going, I mean, I’m surprised I’m as much use as I am, and if everything is <em>actually </em>fine I’ll come back and I can do soup! Right? Soup is good but y’guys I am <em>really</em> scared and--” </p><p>“I can stay with you an’ Azu,” Zolf says. “But you seem to know what she needs, and I reckon nothing I’ve got will be much use. Cel shouldn’t have to deal with this themself. So have you got this?” </p><p>Hamid looks at Cel—none of them should go off alone (but they shouldn’t split up at <em> all </em>)—and back at Azu. “Yeah,” he says, shrill and not at all convincing. “Yeah, go—go with Cel.” </p><p>Zolf seems to think that’s good enough, because he offers Hamid a “sorry, you’ve got this,” turns and heads back to Cel and Hamid is left feeling... inadequate. Small. Adrift.  </p><p>He let them go... </p><p>Oh no he <em> cannot </em> panic himself now, he <em> cannot. </em> </p><p>Azu is still not breathing well. Her breath is coming in sharp gasps that strain against her breastplate. </p><p>“A-Azu?” he says. “Would you like some of your armor off?” </p><p>Against his chest, Azu nods. </p><p>“Alright. I’m-- I’m going to go, and I’m going to start unstrapping things,” he says. “I’m here, though, okay?” </p><p>Another nod. </p><p>“I love you,” Hamid says.  </p><p>He’s got a surprising amount of experience at this, from helping Bertie and then Azu in and out of their armor, sometimes in a hurry. He knows where the straps are and how the buckles work, and which pieces need to come off first. It’s hard to focus, though, with Azu shaking and his own hands trembling, and only the light of the moon and Azu’s glowing armor to work by. He works as quickly as he can, but it will still take several minutes, especially with the fact that he’s still crying, especially since Azu is slow to move her limbs the way he needs, especially since he can’t seem to get this one buckle, he just can’t loosen-- </p><p>The strap falls away in two pieces. Hamid looks at his claws. </p><p>Azu’s armor is magic. It repairs itself. But this is only a passing thought because anything can be repaired, because Hamid can get her out <em>now</em>, he can go <em>faster,</em> and he <em>does. </em>He cuts easily through the leather straps and soon the top half of her armor is falling away, grating against itself, clattering thickly into the mud. </p><p>Azu gasps, and Hamid puts his claws away so he can rub her back. Her pink shirt is dark with sweat and water and blood, but through it he can feel the heat of her body, the frantic pounding of her heart.  </p><p>He runs his hands gently over the taut muscles of her back and her arms, bruised and scratched from their journey. The tender seams of skin where healing magic knit her back together, still fresh enough to be noticeable, though soon they won’t even hold the memory of a scar. </p><p>This isn’t okay, none of this is okay, nothing should be <em> allowed </em> to make Azu this upset. She is his <em> friend. </em>Something hot and dangerous rises in his chest, something that is not a scream, something that wants to burn that brain Cel’s still got tucked away somewhere until it is nothing more than ash. He swallows it down and presses his face into Azu’s shoulder. </p><p>“Hamid,” Azu says, and he can feel the effort of it, the tightness in her lungs. “Come here?” </p><p>“Yes,” Hamid says, and he circles her, one hand always in contact with her skin. “I’m here, I’m <em> here </em>Azu.” </p><p>She sweeps him up into a hug, pulling him tight against her chest. Her amulet of the Heart of Aphrodite digs into his shoulder, her physical heart thuds as though it’s desperate to break free of her body. Hamid curls all his limbs around her. </p><p>“I can see the sky,” she tells him. </p><p>“We made it,” Hamid says. </p><p>“I thought--” she takes a shuddering breath. “I thought we were all going to drown.” </p><p>Hamid swallows. Presses his face into the crook of her neck.  </p><p>“There was so much water.” </p><p>“I know, Azu. I’m so sorry.” </p><p>“I thought I’d lost you,” she says. </p><p>“Never,” Hamid promises, a reckless and impossible oath that is so terribly honest. He <em> refuses </em>to leave her. He simply does. “I- I can breathe fire now, I’m not going to let anything separate us.” </p><p>Azu gives a weak chuckle. “You can breathe fire,” she says, admiring, gentle. And then, “I love you.” </p><p>“I love you too.”  </p><p>“Where are the others?” she asks finally, and there’s an edge of despair to her voice. </p><p>“They went to— I think Cel said something about soup?” </p><p>Azu lets out a breath. “You’re sure?” </p><p>“Also to check on their village,” Hamid says. “But it’s alright. They’ll be back.” </p><p>“Yes,” Azu says. “I... believe you. And I would definitely like some soup.” </p><p>“Yeah,” Hamid agrees. “There was nowhere near enough soup in there.” </p><p>For a while they hold each other, and in Azu’s breaths, in her heartbeat, Hamid can hear the internal process of her calming herself, remembering something new and spiking into panic, and comes back to an almost calm. Hamid tries to help. He’s not sure how much use he is, beyond simply being there, but he tries. </p><p>“I wasn’t...” Azu begins at last. “I couldn’t... I wasn’t enough.” </p><p>“You did so good,” he says. “Azu you did—you were amazing.” </p><p>She squeezes him somehow, impossibly tighter, and her breath hitches as she cries into Hamid’s shoulder. </p><p>“You <em> were, </em> ” Hamid says, and he can’t help the desperate indignation coming through in his voice , doesn’t try . “We’d never have made it without you, you’re <em> wonderful. </em>" </p><p>Azu cries harder. “There was so.... so much cruelty there and no love and I...” She doesn’t have the words. There <em> aren’t </em>the words. </p><p>“It was terrible in there,” Hamid says. “Everything happening there was- was awful, but we—you—we did everything we could.” He swallows down the lie, the guilt that, although Azu is beyond reproach, <em>he </em>had handled things badly. That’s not—he can’t <em>change </em>that now, and it’s not the <em>time </em>to deal with it. “I’m so proud of you, Azu. I’m so proud.” </p><p>Hamid leverages himself up on her shoulder and, with some effort, prestidigitates a handkerchief into his hand—pink, because it brings the faintest hint of a smile to her lips when she sees it. He dries the tears on her cheeks, dabs around the corners of her eyes. Prestidigitates a larger one and hands it to her so she can blow her nose. </p><p>“I can see the sky,” she says again, and Hamid is suddenly, blissfully grateful that it isn’t raining. </p><p>He’s not sure how long they sit there, murmuring gently, surrounded by silently healing pieces of armor. The adrenaline wears off, leaving Hamid with a throbbing behind his eyes and a burning emptiness in his gut. He hasn’t urged Azu to stumble back towards safety because his own legs feel too weak to move, and because the effort it would take to even find the right direction seems impossible. He supposes they’ll just stay here, curled together, sleeping one at a time until someone comes for them, or until no one does. </p><p>Cel and Zolf do return, near dawn, bearing news and, more importantly, soup and blankets. Hamid is far too tired to process what they’re saying, but he understands the warmth, and he knows what they mean when they eventually say, “let’s go home.” </p><p>There is nothing Hamid would like more than to be carried, but Azu doesn’t offer and he doesn’t ask. She is quiet now, exhausted, dull, and he is little better. Still, their hands find each other as soon as they make it to their feet and stay clasped as they stumble the rest of the way back. </p><p>And somehow, they make it. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading. I’d love to hear what you thought &lt;3 </p><p>You can also find me on tumblr as dwarven-beard-spores and twitter as @beardspores.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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